The dreadful day has arrived: my Friends With Benefits has breached the line of casual fun and wants to enter the realm of committed monogamy.
I should begin by highlighting her personality and describing her physical attributes. Hollie is a wonderful young woman, aged 27, that knows how to take care of herself and the man that she is with. She is a great Mother to a 2-year old girl and is working hard in a retail management role while living with her Mom. Although she does not have any college or university education, her aspirations to obtain postsecondary schooling as a single Mom do impress me. She is good with money, has a high sex drive, and listens when I ramble on – three qualities I desire in any type of relationship.
Unfortunately, there are a number of issues that I cannot ignore:
*She is thicker than what I find attractive. She stands at 5’4 but has extra weight across the tummy, legs, and ass. I am attracted and aroused by women of petite stature.
*She eats fast-food and microwave dishes 5+ times a week. This is a huge turn-off for me considering that I am in fit form right now. She seriously has a pizza addiction.
*She does not have a drivers licence. I will never be a chauffer for a girlfriend again.
*She is not physically active and has no motivation at this point to make improvements to her body.
The negative points outweigh all of her positives; I will not settle with a woman simply because she has a charming personality. I can’t even say out loud that her physical shape is the barrier to any LTR, as society now deems thicker women as normal and/or beautiful.
Now, the former me would have thought myself as an asshole for having these views and that I should “give this girl a chance”. Thanks to the introduction to Red Pill theory and the Manosphere, I do not have any guilt. Just because I’m having sex with her doesn’t mean I owe her anything more than the positive experiences we are currently enjoying.
It crushed me, but I was honest with her and told her the following: “I’m working on myself right now and my goals. If I start a relationship with you, I’ll put everything on hold to focus on you. I’m not able to do that”. She is an amazing young woman, but I’m not prepared to stop working on myself so I can cook proper meals for her, drive her to work when it rains, and force her into a gym routine.
When your FWB wants a relationship, consider what YOU actually want and communicate it accordingly. In all, it was an hour of painful delivery (think of it like going to the dentist) and then leave with your head held high.
Still not sure? Read this: