Red Pill Loneliness

Red Pill Loneliness: Anniversaries and Other Important Dates

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November 5th will be forever scarred and permanently emblazed into my memory bank: that was the day I discovered the “love of my life” was cheating. This past November 5th marked the one year anniversary of her infidelity and I struggled through the day. This was not the first anniversary gone by without her (birthdays, special dates, etc) , but was the most painful. It was the most painful because I feel I should have completely let go by now – to be free of the negative emotions I have of her. That, however, is not the case: I still think about her every day and I do not know why.

Getting through those “anniversaries” has been an excellent learning device. I have utilised several tricks, tools, and techniques to ensure I fall asleep with a smile, rather than harbouring sadness through the course of the day.

You Know the Day is Approaching
The days leading up to that dreaded anniversary are the most excruciating. Wondering what she’s doing, if she’s happier than you, and if she’s going to have a better time on your anniversary (without you) are constant questions. You may wonder if she even cares or remembers that a special day is coming up.

Fight these feelings with logic. What are YOU doing properly? What are YOU going to do to make yourself happy? What are YOU going to do on that day?

I knew a week in advance how I was going to spend the day. I called them “Me Days” where I did whatever the hell I wanted. I had a plan and I stuck with it.

Avoid Excessive Alcohol Consumption
If this is truly a day of torture and torment, do not add alcohol to the mix. There are plenty of events/outings that you can take part in without including booze. An alcohol ban may be part of your plan.

Plan Your “Me Day”
Start by asking yourself this question: do I even want to wake up for this shit? Take the day off work or school (give them a few days notice) and sleep in. Cutting those extra 3-4 hours out of the day means you have less time to think about her.

Regardless if I went to work or not, the first thing I would do was scour YouTube and Songza for new music and burn myself a CD for the car (yeah, those old shiny circular things).

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My “Me Day” always consisted of two fitness activities and some great food. I would hit the gym solo and have arrangements with friends for floor hockey, rock climbing, or rollerblading. Afterward, we would either cook a feast or head out to eat.

At this point, I would often have a female join for the remainder of the evening. If I had a girl with me that night, I was allowed to drink; If I was by myself or just with the guys, no alcohol.

This is what worked for me to drown out thoughts/images/memories of her. If you’re having trouble with an approaching special date, plan your Me Day and fill it with whatever you want.

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Red Pill Loneliness: Cooking for One

In the third installment of Red Pill Loneliness, I would like to discuss a method of cooking that helped to empower my masculinity, brought healthy food to my table, and killed countless hours of depression.

Any man will experience some degree of loneliness or boredom through the course of a given week. Having these quiet breaks of time are an opportunity – get up and do something with it.

The Charcoal Grill

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Knowing how to cook over fire was necessary for human survival up until the 20th century. The pleasures of grilling are surreal and will teach you the fundamentals of healthy cooking. You can pick up a cheap charcoal for $40 or you can spoil yourself with some of the deluxe models that hit the $300+ mark.

History of the Charcoal Grill
In 1952, a gentleman named George Stephen Sr. was working at Weber Brothers Metal Works in Chicago. The factory manufactured marine buoys. George came up with an idea for a better grill to replace the problematic outdoor BBQs that filled American backyards at the time. His invention: a dome-shaped grill with vents, covered by a lid to protect food from the elements.

George Stephen cut a buoy in half, added the air vents, legs,handles, and grilling plate. His invention would spark a backyard revolution.

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With winter fast approaching, I highly recommend researching this amazing device. Lets look at the Pros and Cons:

CONS
There are a few downsides to charcoal grilling, the first being time. It can take up to half an hour to get the grill up to temperature. Even after the appropriate heat has been reached, the cooking/smoking process is far greater than propane, gas, or oven cooking.

Unattended, it is quite easy to have a flair up, thus burning your food.

Charcoal is more expensive (at least in Canada) per individual meal. The cost of the charcoal, wood chips, and lighter fluid or chimney, adds up to slightly more than a $30 propane tank and does not produce as many BBQ events.

Because the concept behind charcoal grilling involves smoke, you may find that “fire” scent on your clothes.

PROS
The additional time required to prepare and cook the meals can be fun. Experimenting with different wood chips, meats, veggies, seasonings, and marinades is a joy.

Friends and family will drop in any time you mention you’re having a BBQ. If you’re looking for more social time in the comfort of your own home, a charcoal grill will help.

Glowing coals are at a temperature of about 1,100 degrees Celsius; while gas burns at around 1,900 degrees Celsius, there’s very little radiant heat from the flames. The heat produced from your charcoal makes grilling during a snowfall a relaxing experience.

The aroma created from a charcoal grill or smoker is simply amazing. Your BBQ will ooze with lip-smacking smells, letting a small neighbourhood know that you’ve lit your BBQ.

You cannot compare the flavour of the food to any other type of BBQ. I hated cooking before I purchased my first grill. Now, I can bring a beer-can chicken, filet Mignon, or cedar plank salmon to the table and impress any woman. And the time it takes to cook allows for some fun flirting in between!

Red Pill Loneliness: Forming Friendships with Alpha Males

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In the previous article “Red Pill Loneliness“, we acknowledge that isolation occurs with change. The decision to “unplug” and take the Red Pill has consequences, one of which includes losing friends.

Building a new network can be a tiresome venture, but the investment pays off. Having alpha male friends rather than betas will surely change your life in a positive way.

It has taken me an entire year to do it, but I now have three best friends that consistently display alpha traits. Here are the pros and cons of having this type of man as a friend:

PROS
Your dedication to the gym, fitness activities, and sports will increase. You may or may not partake in these events with the Alpha male, but your athletic goals will be pushed.

You will eat healthier and learn to cook some interesting dishes because these men take care of their bodies

You will meet new women. Alpha men will approach and their natural charisma will provide you with opportunities.

More women will approach you and your group. Girls will be drawn in to the dominant male(s) in any room.

You will feel more masculine. Your body language will change, your self-esteem will improve, and your communication style will adapt.

You don’t have to worry about a true Alpha male fucking your girlfriend or cockblocking you. They can get their own pussy.

CONS
You will still experience loneliness due to the fact that Alpha men live busy lives. Between lists of responsibilities, partying, and gym time, they will not always be available.

Because Alpha men are frequently out on the town, you will find yourself spending more money.

Although Alpha men are admired in many social circles, they have a knack for making enemies, sparking jealousy, and making others angry.

Alpha males won’t put up with your shit. If you start to fail or fizzle out, don’t expect them to carry you for too long. If you screw them, you can be sure they’ll drop you permanently from their friends list.

How Do You Meet Alpha Males?
Simple. That guy in the room that’s getting all the positive attention and commands respect? That’s him. I find that their are only a few ways to connect with these types of men:

1. Find a common enemy. This may prove difficult, but this type of bond is concrete.

2. Share a story about the girl that broke your heart and how you’ve overcome it. These men have fallen in love too; this discussion will show his weaker, empathetic side.

3. Talk about your gym schedules, routines, etc.

Bonding with these stronger men may be intimidating at first. Drop the beta behaviour and go get a top tier friend.

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Red Pill Loneliness

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Several posts across the Manosphere have popped up in recent weeks regarding Red Pill Men and former Betas experiencing a sense of loneliness. Hearing that other men are experiencing similar “set backs” should provide an amount of encouragement to all of those concerned with the issue.

A series of articles regarding this temporary loneliness will be released to assist your transition into the Red Pill world.

The isolation that you are feeling is normal. When drastic change occurs in personal or business arenas, unforeseen events are a certainty that quite simply cannot be prepared for. In terms of becoming an alpha male, we do not expect a negative hit on our social life. Yet here you are reading about it.

One day, something bad happened to you. Something really fucken bad. This event was so negative that it completely fucked you up. Maybe it was a girl, maybe it was a job, or maybe it was a lifelong goal… now you’re fucked up for life. That is how you found the Red Pill. That is how you stumbled into the Manosphere. That is how you brought yourself to make a change.

One of the first things that you realize after a few doses of Red Pill is that men are weak. One of the most difficult processes of your development will be cutting these weak men, your Beta Male friends, from your life or limiting time spent with them.

How do you spot a Beta Male in a social circle?

#1 The Desperate Desperado
∆ He’s the guy that still talks to your ex girlfriend
∆ He’s the guy saddling up to your girl when you leave the room
∆ He’s the guy clinging onto any female that provides him with attention
∆ He’s the guy talking shit to girls, but smiling to your face
∆He’s the guy that counts on you to meet any new women

#2 The Popularly Unpopular
∆He’s the guy that starts and runs the NBA, NFL, and NHL fantasy leagues
∆He’s the guy that organizes frequent poker nights “with the guys”
∆He’s the guy that orders pizza or fast food more than twice per week
∆He’s the guy that knows more social retards than you care to count
∆He’s the guy you actually like, but his friends are an embarrassment

#3 The Intellectual Idiot
∆ He’s the guy that will quote info from the internet to prove you wrong
∆ He’s the guy that flew through college or university but doesn’t know girls
∆ He’s the guy that is so good with his money, he’ll screw you to save a buck
∆ He’s the guy that thinks money and materials are the key to happiness
∆ He’s the guy that gets jealous when you meet new women

There are other types of Beta Males, but the ones described above will hurt you. Minimize the time spent with these guys. Doing so does create a degree of loneliness, but you can’t drive toward your goals with any flat tires.

Next up: Forming Friendships with Other Alpha Males