Cheating

Being Aware of Hypergamy – Part 2

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Definition:

hypergamy (haɪˈpɜːɡəmɪ)

1. (Anthropology & Ethnology) a custom that forbids a woman to marry a man of lower social status
2. (Anthropology & Ethnology) any marriage with a partner of higher social status

The easiest way to understand hypergamy is too view it as a consistent drive to upgrade to the most desirable relationship.

The traditional definition describes the occurrence in terms of marriage; due to changes in the dating world for those of us in the 21st century, consider its application for modern day relationships.

Although the term is directly associated with monetary value of the potential spouse/mate, hypergamy stretches beyond income and assets. In the western world, a woman is able to discard her current mate to secure a relationship with a male of higher status whenever such opportunity arises. The evolutionary psychology behind this theory is that a female must find a male with the best ability to provide for her offspring, regardless of investments and commitments made to her current boyfriend/fiancé/husband.

Whether the new man has:
A – the current/potential resources that will provide for her (aka the “nice guy”)
B – the ability to take resources from
others (aka the ” bad boy”)
this woman, of any age, can leave her partner with no guilt or consequence.

When a wife cheats, you rarely see her leave for someone of lower status. When a relationship ends, the next boyfriend is typically an improvement over the previous.

I completely support this strategy behind mating. Although it is not widely accepted as a true model (some relationship experts and modern feminists cast their doubts upon its existence), hypergamy presents frequently upon this generation and I understand why women would use it, notwithstanding the fact that it may be a subconscious manoeuvre. In all reality, who doesn’t want the best possible life partner?

This constant drive to upgrade to a better man, however, leaves behind many disgruntled, confused, and heartbroken males, who often feel emasculated several years after the event occurred.

So…How Can Hypergamy Help Men?

It is up to men to strive to improve. At no point can we become stagnant in our personal development… hypergamy has the potential to creep in if we allow it to. Our girlfriend/wife/lover will feel forced to abandon us for a man that can be a “better provider” for her. This means that hypergamy has an underlying benefit: it should force men to invest in themselves.

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The Red Pill has become a necessary male reflex to changes in social dynamics. Our “Self-Improvement Movements” are an excellent defence against hypergamy because you will prove to yourself and to your lover that you are the most valuable man available.

Red Pill Loneliness: Anniversaries and Other Important Dates

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November 5th will be forever scarred and permanently emblazed into my memory bank: that was the day I discovered the “love of my life” was cheating. This past November 5th marked the one year anniversary of her infidelity and I struggled through the day. This was not the first anniversary gone by without her (birthdays, special dates, etc) , but was the most painful. It was the most painful because I feel I should have completely let go by now – to be free of the negative emotions I have of her. That, however, is not the case: I still think about her every day and I do not know why.

Getting through those “anniversaries” has been an excellent learning device. I have utilised several tricks, tools, and techniques to ensure I fall asleep with a smile, rather than harbouring sadness through the course of the day.

You Know the Day is Approaching
The days leading up to that dreaded anniversary are the most excruciating. Wondering what she’s doing, if she’s happier than you, and if she’s going to have a better time on your anniversary (without you) are constant questions. You may wonder if she even cares or remembers that a special day is coming up.

Fight these feelings with logic. What are YOU doing properly? What are YOU going to do to make yourself happy? What are YOU going to do on that day?

I knew a week in advance how I was going to spend the day. I called them “Me Days” where I did whatever the hell I wanted. I had a plan and I stuck with it.

Avoid Excessive Alcohol Consumption
If this is truly a day of torture and torment, do not add alcohol to the mix. There are plenty of events/outings that you can take part in without including booze. An alcohol ban may be part of your plan.

Plan Your “Me Day”
Start by asking yourself this question: do I even want to wake up for this shit? Take the day off work or school (give them a few days notice) and sleep in. Cutting those extra 3-4 hours out of the day means you have less time to think about her.

Regardless if I went to work or not, the first thing I would do was scour YouTube and Songza for new music and burn myself a CD for the car (yeah, those old shiny circular things).

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My “Me Day” always consisted of two fitness activities and some great food. I would hit the gym solo and have arrangements with friends for floor hockey, rock climbing, or rollerblading. Afterward, we would either cook a feast or head out to eat.

At this point, I would often have a female join for the remainder of the evening. If I had a girl with me that night, I was allowed to drink; If I was by myself or just with the guys, no alcohol.

This is what worked for me to drown out thoughts/images/memories of her. If you’re having trouble with an approaching special date, plan your Me Day and fill it with whatever you want.

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Sweet Revenge Upon my Cheating Ex

This past weekend was much more successful in terms of meeting new people and socialising. The city I live in does not offer the greatest night life and when the college/university students disappear for the summer, the dating market becomes quite bare. This was the first week of students arriving back to their dorms and new people were wandering the streets, which provided some incentive to actually go out.

I avoid the club scene because my PUA skills there stink; My ability to approach during the day at beaches, car shows, and outdoor patios is much better. But wow, am I ever happy I went to the club!

A friend-of-a-friend was having his birthday in the VIP of a usually crowded club. On this Friday, however, the place was 90% men and offered only a handful of attractive women. It worked in my favour though, as a very attractive young blonde approached me. I vaguely recognised her, but couldn’t put a name to her face.

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Almost immediately, she leaned in close to talk and asked my name. “Are you blah blah’s boyfriend?” Taken back by the mentioning of my cheating ex-girlfriend, I then realized who this beautiful young woman was: my ex’s arch nemesis, Allie. You see, this pretty blonde had “stolen” my ex’s best friend, Jess, and turned her into some wild party animal, according to the ex. There was a passionate hatred between the two and it was all coming together. I had met Allie while she was out with Jess at a club many months ago; Allie interrupted a conversation between Jess and I, which resulted in me giving her a dirty look and telling her to “f*ck off”.

Allie remembered this encounter as she stared up to me and asked “why were you so mean to me when I met you?”. The words that left my mouth to answer her question blew my mind…as a newbie Red Pill patient, such harsh words were not common to use upon such a pretty girl. As our eyes met “I thought you were a bitch” was delivered in a calm, firm tone. Her reaction: she buys me a drink, apologized profusely, and toasts to a fresh start.

Wow.

Allie invited me to the afterparty at a guy’s place. It was a dump and he followed her around like a lost puppy, blocking me at every opportunity. I managed to leave the house with the nickname “Dimples” and her phone number. We’ve been texting, but I haven’t managed to set a date up.

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I do see, with the communication I’ve had with Allie, why my ex hates her: she’s a above average in all departments. Attractive, fit, following an awesome career, and is maintaining two jobs while in college; My ex couldn’t get her highschool diploma or hold down a job. What has attracted me the most about this young lady is her proper use of the English language in text and convo (emoticons, spelling errors, slang, and lazy writing turn me off).

The holy grail of revenge is in the scope and Jess, the former best friend, will at some point mention to my ex that Allie and I are talking. I want this so bad, but am not sure I have the skills yet. If you’ve got any advice as to how to get her out, feel free to comment.